A Lesbian in Recovery Sits in this Chair

By Cary Kelley Wright, Volunteer Facilitator, SRF Support For LGBTQ+

“My name is Cary Kelley Wright, and I am a 57-year-old lesbian in recovery from alcohol use disorder.”

A Lesbian in Recovery

There were so many times during the years when I was drinking excessively that I felt like I was unworthy of love and belonging. Many of those moments led back to my young teenage years when I discovered that I was attracted to women. I remember being outed in high school when someone taped a note to the back of my desk that read “a lesbian sits in this chair.” I was mortified.

That was probably the beginning of my efforts to escape reality and the constant barrage of exterior judgment and ridicule.

I tried very hard to live who I felt I was, but I was unable to stand against conforming to what was expected of me as a young woman being raised in the South.

As I think back about the origin of my alcohol use disorder, I can see that it began as I reached the drinking age and started frequenting local gay and lesbian bars – in an effort to step a little deeper into my truth. At that time, those bars were predominately where “we” met one another. They provided a safe environment where I felt accepted for who I was.

Having a safe place to connect with other LGBTQ+ people meant everything as I struggled to accept my sexuality.

Oddly enough, that safe haven was also the place where I learned to use alcohol to escape. From the moment I began drinking, I almost always drank to excess. I believe that I struggled to feel safe in my sexuality because of the stigma and how others responded to people who lived openly as gay or lesbian. I drank to avoid my feelings of fear and shame.

Over the 40 years since that high school experience, my acceptance of myself and my sexuality has shifted profoundly. Today, I feel strong in living the truth of who I am.

I am proud to be a woman and a lesbian in long-term recovery sitting in this chair.

Today, I use my life experience as well as my coach training to create spaces where other women can connect with their truth and claim their right to live it. I am grateful to recover out-loud and share how my greatest weakness led me to discover my greatest strength.

Click here to read the full blog.

Join the SRF Support For LGBTQ+ Community

(Launching June 18, 2021)

If you are a recovering queer woman, transwoman, a non-binary individual who identifies with women’s communities, or an LGBTQ+ ally, this dedicated recovery space is designed just for you.

Connect with like-hearted folks and find healing through the private Facebook group or attend an SRF Support Gathering weekly on Sundays.
With Cary Wright: Sundays @ 7:30am PST / 10:30am EST starting June 20
With Autumn Rock: Sundays @ 12:30pm PST / 3:30pm PST starting June 27
Allies are welcome to attend the gathering once a month.
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Cary Kelley Wright, CPRC, CPC, SRCD, BSc (Psychology)

Cary is a Volunteer Facilitator for the SRF Support Group For LGBTQ+, a Certified Professional Recovery Coach, SHE RECOVERS Designated Coach, and Certified Life Coach.
Cary strongly believes that our healing is rooted in our pain. She focuses her coaching on creating a healing space where truth is spoken, pain is unearthed, and clients are given opportunities for real, vulnerable, healing connections with self and others through individual and small group coaching. Cary is in long-term recovery from alcohol use disorder, co-dependency, perfectionism, and ultra-independence, among other things. It is her life’s purpose to walk alongside other women as they seek new ways to meet life’s challenges, create healthy patterns, and develop more fulfilling lives.
Connect with Cary on FacebookInstagram, her website.


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