This is a guest post written by Lori Ann H., who lives in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada and has been writing/ blogging privately about her recovery since 2016.
It is fascinating to me the succession of events that come together in our lives by “coincidence” and ultimately lead us to an unraveling, which then becomes our awakening.
For me, looking back at the last few years, that first frayed thread of my unraveling came in joining an educational inquiry group of fellow educators. The inquiry involved the study of mindfulness in education. The process itself was the experience of a variety of mindfulness practices, such as mindfulness in nature, mindfulness in art, mindfulness in social justice, etc.
One such practice of receiving love through mindful listening had each of us take a turn at the center of our peer group and listen while each member told us what they appreciated in us. When it was my turn to receive their appreciation, my tears flowed. This was the first glimpse of the golden Buddha beneath the layers of mud that I would later read about, and with which I would deeply resonate. The soft, quiet unraveling within picked up speed and girth.
Sarah Blondin and “Live Awake”
In the coming months, I would experiment with mindful meditation here and there, but it was not until I set down my very last glass of wine that I would begin to seek meditations that spoke to the healing that my heart so desperately needed. I knew at a subconscious level that if I was to maintain sobriety, I had to continue the process of the unraveling. As we are all too well aware, it is not wine or drugs or food or shopping that is our undoing, that brings us to our “rock bottom.” It is the pain we carry within, that eats at us, some of us for decades, from the inside out and brings us to the unraveling in the first place. It is in turning toward this pain that we begin the process of that healing.
And so it was, one day last fall, while mindfully seeking a meditation on self-love, that I discovered Sarah Blondin. It was the first time that I would hear the soft, now familiar, music of “The Live Awake Project” and Sarah’s healing, melodic words and I was hooked! She spoke right through the layers of my pain directly to my core … straight into my heart.
Rituals are our foundation in sobriety and Sarah is an integral part of mine. Each morning, I choose a guided meditation from “Live Awake” for the message that I most need to hear that day. It was on one such morning when I first heard “Discovering Your Intrinsic Self.” Every cell in my body came alive… every hair stood on end, and the goosebumps! Those words fed me like nothing I had heard before.
Last summer, I found myself on Salt Spring Island at the She Recovers Stowell Lake Farm Retreat for women in recovery from EVERYTHING. I was full of trepidation as we began our first yoga class and our beautiful teacher, Taryn Strong, began to read a poem. Tears filled my eyes as I immediately recognized Sarah’s healing words. I understood then that I was meant to be exactly where I was, surrounded in my healing by the women who have become my tribe. My life was forever changed… forever better.
Sarah will be speaking at the She Recovers Conference in LA this September. Knowing that Sarah lived nearby, in the interior of British Columbia, I reached out to her in hopes of meeting my shero. I wanted to tell her just how instrumental she had been, and continues to be, in my healing, to find out her story of healing, and just how it is that her words all come out so full of wisdom, truth, and beauty.
She said “YES!”
It was a wonderful coffee date, and a beautiful conversation – the kind of richness that comes from sharing stories with a kindred spirit – and I can’t wait to share with you all of the love and light that was graciously shared with me. Stay tuned …
Lori Ann H. lives in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada, where she has been writing/ blogging privately about her recovery since 2016. She discovered She Recovers in 2017, and her recovery took flight. Lori Ann is passionate about writing, the healing that comes in working recovery, and living consciously. She believes wholeheartedly that we each have a unique gift to share with the world, and that this gift can only be found in our healing. Once we find this gift, it is our obligation to share it with the world… this is light that only we can shine. She is on the threshold of sharing her love and light.
Lori, beautiful words. I echo your passion for Sarah Blondin. The Live Awake meditations spoke directly to me and changed my life too. Because of her words and the women and experience of SSI, I am currently in Hawaii continuing my path of growth and love. Thank you Lori, you are a spectacular woman!
I first heard of Sarah Blondin in 2016. I think it was the podcast about “surrender”. Her words penetrated the deepest part of me, as did the podcast about loving yourself (by Sarah) that I heard this morning -mentioning something I am quite familiar with: “ in sleep, being pulled back into the darkness”.
I suppose this is understandable in that (I am male) in 1980 I suffered a nervous breakdown which left me with chronic bipolar disorder. The illness was largely “blanketed” by taking Lithium, enabling me to function and eventually complete a Masters in music.
In 2014 I had to stop taking Lithium, as my kidneys were failing. I was thus re-introduced to the fallout of the illness.
I now have a counsellor and over the last few years have begun to understand the impact of my childhood conditioning. Also I have listened to many hours of Eckhart Tolle and understand now that this new phase of my life, is necessary (although often painful) to achieve proper conscious-awareness, and cease being driven by ego.
But I don’t think I have properly immersed myself in meditation. And so, for the first time in 12 months today, I have listened again to Sarah, and as a consequence I am writing this. It sounded to me that Sarah, like many others, had been through some dark times and understood emphatically how lost one can feel. I just felt to communicate to someone about this issue. What is your advice about recovery?
Sarah’s work is lyrical, inspirational. I recently found her work on Insight Timer and meditate to at least one of her offerings once a day!
Does anyone know what music Sarah uses? It is incredibly beautiful..
I don’t know but will try to find out….-ew