I am deeply grateful for each and every day of the past 40 years…the good, the bad, the ugly. These 40 years have been filled with joy, boundless love as well as the loss and tragedy that are part of being human. It has been a magic carpet ride in my continued journey of “becoming” with many highs and lows, failures and successes. I have experienced hard falls and resilient rises.

Forty years ago, I showed up at the doors of the Anorexia Nervosa’s Aid Society in Boston, Massachusetts. I had been struggling in silence with a terrible eating disorder for many years when I reached my bottom. I reached out to members of my family who were there for me then and have been every day since on my journey of becoming my highest self. I know that not everybody has the support of family and that I am deeply blessed.

Like many of you, I was so scared when I hit my bottom. I prayed for help and I was graced with just enough courage to begin. And begin again, And again and again. And yet, here I am, sharing my SHE RECOVERS out loud story with you.

I spent the first five years of recovery getting well, gaining a bit of strength every day. It wasn’t long before I realized that I also needed to deal with my drinking. I was 25 years old at this point and it was clear that alcohol was getting in the way of my life. I somehow knew that I would never become all I was created to become in service to our world if I kept dimming my light and wellness. My clean and sober sobriety date is February 22, 1987. I call it the greatest self-love day of my lifetime. I let go of alcohol and opened my heart and my life in ways I could never have imagined. Without this clarity, I never would have been able to face the truth of my childhood which has been the hardest aspect of my recovery but also inspired the growth that continues to free me.

My carpet ride continues to unfold, destination unknown but my recovery is the foundation of my path. I have a beautiful marriage, two wonderful children, family, friends, and community. I have reached out to many and always found loving hands and hearts when I do. I have been told what I needed to hear and some things that I did not want to hear. I have discovered a meaningful spiritual path and cultivated a daily practice to support me on that path. I have found joy and purpose in my professional career. And still, I continue to become.

The SHE RECOVERS Foundation entered my life through knowing and loving my sacred sister, Susan Carter, Executive Director of the Foundation. All of the SHE RECOVERS Intentions & Guiding Principles resonate deeply with me, and I love that the community exists for all of us. Community matters in recovery. I have sought and found healing on my own as well as in community, both inside and outside of twelve-step recovery and other programs. Recovery communities can support all of us searching for healing and sisterhood. We get well together.

One pathway that has added to my ‘WHoly Wellness’TM was incorporating hemp-derived CBD into my daily life. After motherhood and my graceful aging, sleep began to evade me. I tried countless remedies, none allowing for long-term relief or regenerative, renewing sleep. My co-founders and I started First Crop in 2019 with an intention of utilizing hemp as a source of regeneration…for the soil, for rural communities, for our planet, for our souls. As one who has chosen a clean and sober life, education and understanding was imperative for this journey. It was important to me to know that hemp-derived CBD is a natural, non-intoxicating compound that works with our body’s Endocannabinoid System to bring our body into harmony and balance. We partnered with experts to pair our hemp-derived CBD with active botanicals to maximize the natural therapeutic benefits. And through this, sleep returned to me.

I have been blessed with daily healing from many addictions and have traveled the “whale dive” journey to heal an incestuous childhood. With the unconditional love of my higher power (a benevolent universal source), my incredible and imperfect family, the help and devotion of many wholehearted medical experts. as well as precious sacred brothers and sisters in recovery all over the world, today my soul has hope, peace, and serenity. Life is not easy but I try to find beauty and understanding in even the hardest situations. That is the grace and gift of my magic carpet ride…the journey to my highest light.

I have come to understand that choosing to “be well” is an act of love…that caring for myself is a gift to all I love. Thank you for allowing me to share my SHE RECOVERS out loud story.

In palms joined closing,

Jane